Your Challenge Today:
Inspire good actions in others!
By Bernadette Kathryn, LMT, IHLC
Good actions give strength
to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.
~ Plato
Actions speak louder than words! How many times have you heard that in your life? My mom used to say it all the time; she wanted to see results not hear the talk. It sounds a little harsh, and honestly, I don’t remember a single instance when she said it, I just remember that she did and frankly, I think she is right. When we don’t know what to think about someone or something, it’s important to look at the actions around that person or thing. What is happening?
I know a lot of people that are very sweet, charming and pleasant to be around. They always have something thoughtful to say and are careful to be politically correct, polite and generous with their spirit. They are so lovely to be around, and sometimes I get the feeling that all those pleasantries are not 100% sincere. I sometimes find it hard to get a handle on what to believe in those times.
Then, there are those people you know that are very vivacious, chatty, and fun to be around. Sometimes you might meet one or two that just don’t have a filter – they will say anything that comes to their mind, politically correct or not! You might even wonder what were they thinking when they said that, don’t they realize people have feelings?
Here is another subject that I find myself going back to ‘balance.’ How do we balance our politically correct behavior with our compassionate truth? I do believe it is important to look at our actions to learn more about our motivation and commitments. We may tell ourselves that we want _______________ (you can fill in the blank). And when we examine our actions, are we doing what we need to do to accomplish that ______________? Do our actions reflect our commitments?
What can you learn from your actions?
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Just this week I had a personal challenge when a less than desireable feeling came up with Sam. It was uncomfortable because it is so unusual; we are usually on the same exact page with things. He asked me if there was something I needed to talk about, but I wasn’t ready at the time, so I simply held myself in compassion with patience. Then next morning during my swim I was able to work out why I had been so tweeked and then to see that the thing I saw in Sam was a mirror for my own “shadow” self that I don’t like. Once I was able to do that then I was able to do a loving kindness/compassion meditation and reach a new level with it that enabled me to have the words I needed to explain to Sam why I was tweaked the night before. This is an example of walking my own walk; doing the hard work of looking at myself, as well as Sam, and taking care of my feelings with patience and understanding so that I can hold myself in compassion even when I feel ashamed. This supports my goal of being my best self in this relationship and taking full responsibility for my own part.
BRAVO Pamela — thank you so much for sharing your insights and process. I see how this was a challenge for you personally and how the challenge coupled with your commitment for compassion to yourself and your partner can be a guiding light for us all. BRAVO!!